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EMOTIONAL SELF-MASTERY RESET YOUR LIFE AND EXPECTATIONS  

WITH MAXINE TOLBERT

A BETTER LIFE ADVOCATE

I help professionals acquire the skills of emotional self-mastery to enhance their careers and personal lives.  Combined with a strong reconnection to self, my clients achieve self-trust and remove the urge to please.  They become purposeful and confident decision makers and action takers.   

Are these challenges familiar?

It takes you a while to get over strongly felt emotions

You avoid conflict but hold resentment if something does not go your way

You have been described as moody or temperamental

You constantly feel pulled in many different directions

People expect too much of you

You feel unheard or undervalued

Recognition and success depend on being liked

You have a tendency for perfectionism

       

The problem:  You are conflicted. You know what a good leader is and how to behave like one, but you lack the confidence and self-trust to be one.  Your emotions are overly influencing your thoughts and behaviors and you need more self-discipline to manage them.  You also have an underlying tendency to please others, believing that your value and self-worth are somehow attached to others.

 

Why?  Over time we can loose sight of who we are, our innate character strengths, and values.  Constant stress puts our emotions into high-alert.  Some events feel like trip-wires, causing our life to not feel like our own.  The expectations we have no longer represent us.  This disconnect leaves us feeling lost, confused and angry.  In this paradigm everything feels like a never-ending battle and even reaching our chosen goals hold little to no joy.  As our emotions continue to heighten the less satisfied we become. 

The good news:  I am here to tell you that you can reset that paradigm and transform your mindset to rediscover and reconnect with who you are and establish more emotional control. You can learn to self-manage and build more confidence back into all decisions, take purposeful action, and make your life a better place to live.  My passion and mission are to guide how to realistically do that.  

 Through my 1-on-1 coaching you will:

Learn to self-manage your emotions and command more respect

Stabilize your temperament making you a more effective leader

Communicate your needs with clarity and ease

Enjoy improved relationships

Make better decisions quickly and effectively

Prioritize and set smart and meaningful goals with ease

No longer need external validation of your worth

 

I hear you asking .... "Does it really work?" 

I'm going to let my clients answer that.  Please check out some testimonials by using the link below.

 

 

How do I get you there?  Let me introduce you to my coaching framework:

My RESET Transformation Process:

 

On your journey with me I become your best life advocate, your thinking partner, and transformation co-creator.  My framework and approach is tailored specifically for your needs, and together we cover these key elements:

 
RESET Steps
Rediscover Self
Examine sources and Test 
Set Compass 
Engage Action
Transform

The RESET Transformation:

Key process steps:

  • R - Re-discover your internal values and innate character strengths, and consider how they may have evolved

 

  • E - Examine and audit your life to see where your values and strengths "show-up"

    • We will explore to spot the misalignments between those and your thought’s, actions, and behaviors. 

    • You will test your strengths and values; re-examine the things you think you know and believe; asking "are they true"  “do they still work?"  Find out what needs editing, deleting or adding to?"

    • Explore your emotional intelligence and emotional language to look for improvements

    • You will use the insightful results to build a strong personal compass and success measuring stick for future decision making.

 

  • S - Set your Compass and RESET your course with confidence in your new and improved skills and mindset.

 

  • E - Engage in your life with fresh deliberate action; setting realistic life-impactful goals with the know-how, motivation, emotional support and guidance you need to get moving with purpose.

 

  • T Transform

    • Your perspectives will change.  You will to see yourself, the world, and others differently. Others will treat you differently too

    • You will focus your energy and time with renewed passion and see real results

    • You will have less stress and more pleasure

    • You will confidently move forward with purpose, striving for success on your own terms  

    • You will live your better life

 

The Guidance I Provide:  My coaching programs are designed to allow you to choose how far along your personal transformation journey you want to have my 1-on-1 support. 

 

Regardless of the package you select you will gain the clarity and insights necessary to re-set your course.  Your perspectives and expectations will be re-set, founded in realism and communicated clearly.

You can also bridge up to the next level program and come back for Top-Up sessions after you have completed your program.  Please use this link below to consider the Coaching Package details and rates I offer.

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Book your 90 Minute complimentary Introduction Session to learn more:

MY PHILOSOPHY

 

Why "Expectations-reset"?  Let me demystify.  Where do Expectations come from?  the answer is complicated and unique to each person, but there some key factors that contribute.  

Our expectations in life are influenced by:

  • What we read, hear, see, smell, touch, even the music we listen to by choice or second-hand. 

  • Then there is the influence of others being: family, loved ones, peers, subordinates, bosses, teachers and basically any figure of authority we are exposed to during our lives. 

  • Added to that list are our born or given culture(s), and the society we live in. 

As you can see, it is complex because it is all networked and intertwined.  Is there any wonder that we say our brains/minds are noisy places? 

 

What's the science?  Modern neurology explains that our brains are exposed to vast amounts of data (noise) every second of every day.  The brain wants to protect our physical selves by making us able to act quickly; it's a primal survival thing.  To do that our brains create easy-paths. 

 

How? The brain looks for patterns.  It associates our experiences with the biological and emotional responses we had to them and it lumps what is similar together.  Over time, repetition and further data collection, the brain validates that the collection is correct and hard-wires it for future use. Essentially, our thoughts and actions move from our conscious thought to the subconscious, freeing up the conscious brain for other more important data processing.  Our subconscious becomes our auto-piolet. 

 

Essentially that hard-wiring becomes our subconscious biases, our inner-belief systems, and the rules by which we live.  Our expectations just piggy-back onto all of those. We expect others to think (or not) like us.

The end result?   Absent any conscious consideration expectations can cause us a lot of hurt.  Consider this: The gap between our expectations and our reality represents the amount of frustration we feel.  The bigger the gap, the larger our frustration.  Who's not suffering from that dynamic?  

That is what my coaching is all about.  In order to reset your expectations we strip it all down to the basic fundamentals of who you are at your core and we deeply consider why you are the way you are.  We work together to bring your thoughts, behaviors and habits back into conscious thinking.  You re-learn and rewire your brain into more healthy outcomes.  You simply reset and move on stronger. 

Why do I do this work and why I'm the right person for you: 

To learn more about my personal story of transformation visit my "About Me" page:  

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YOU, ME & MY STYLE

MAKING MEANINGFUL CHANGE STARTS WITH CHANGING FROM WITHIN.

Your journey and results require dedication and effort.  I will be your #1 Advocate, but this is an investment in yourself; I cannot do the work for you; you are the driver.  Part of my role is to help you own that responsibility.  I am your GPS; You own the journey's starting point, choose the preferred destination and what stops you wish to take along the way.  The destination can also change.  I will strategize the journey, motivate you, strengthen, and guide you in a way that works best for you. 

The real question is:  Where do you wish to go? Who do you want to be?

 

I am a high performer and a demystifyer.  I cannot see any point in doing something half-heartedly.  I also see little point in doing something that does not have a practical application; there has to be an end purpose.   Call it passion, call it tenacity, even grit, but I call it "real".

Together we will identify your motivation drivers = your strong WHY.  This element is vital for success.  

 

I will ask you lots of questions from a place of curiosity and genuine compassion. I will ask you to be honest with me, but more importantly with yourself.  I use reflective enquiry and a no-nonsense approach to guide you in a way that allows you to find your own solutions and answers; ones that work for YOU! 

 

As the GPS I will encourage you to explore and discover all aspects of your life and who you really are.  I motivate and introduce new things and perspectives to consider.  There will be times when I challenge you and your status quo.  That felt discomfort is a powerful fuel for real change.  Don't worry, I am not harsh - I will only take you where you are willing to go.  I issue soft challenges designed to help you identify any disconnects, and harder challenges to inspire you along if you need them.  I am your best life advocate.

TRUTH AND YOUR GROWTH POTENTIAL LIES IN THE DISCONNECTED PIECES OF YOU AND YOUR STORIES

As your personal best life advocate, thinking partner and journey co-creator, I am an experienced human.  There is not much you can surprise me with; my life, business and personal challenges have been many.  Those have provided me a level of understanding and empathy that only those who have walked the path can know or explain. That affords me the ability to get you to where you want to be quicker.  I am an open book: I will answer any and all questions you may have to elaborate or explain anything you wish to know when we speak.  Ask away :)

 

BOOK YOUR INTRODUCTORY CALL NOW!  

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My Qualifications & Credentials

Qualifications:  

I am a qualified AC Accredited Foundation Coach, designated as competent and fit. I am also a very active member and formal contributor to the USA Region of the Association for Coaching® (AC).  The AC is a global Institution and one I am proud to be a part of. I am continuously working on my AC accreditation levels.  I carry professional liability insurance for the services I provide.  (A copy of my insurance certificate is available upon request) 

Extract from AC Website: "The AC is a leading independent, not-for-profit, professional body dedicated to promoting best practice and raising the awareness and standards of coaching, worldwide.  Its purpose is to inspire and champion coaching excellence, to advance the coaching profession and make a sustainable difference to individuals, organizations and society."

I am also a Jay Shetty Certified Life and Success Coach and a founding member of the Jay Shetty Certification School (JSCS) which is an AC affiliated/recognized coaching school.  

As an AC Accredited coach I operate under supervision of AC by specially trained and qualified personnel who monitor my performance to ensure full adherence to the robust coaching frameworks, global standards and competencies. The AC Code of Ethics and the applicable standards of behavior can be found by visiting this website: https://www.associationforcoaching.com/page/AboutCodeEthics

 

The formal AC accreditation requires that I periodically renew my credentials and fulfill annual continuous professional development. This ensures that the quality of my coaching stays high, current, and relevant. 

Credentials:

My continued education in this field is a requirement but also my personal quest.  I love what I do and I strive to expand my knowledge so that I may serve people better every day.

I am a life long student of the human condition.  I have been actively coaching people during my lifetime, but professionally 1-one-1, for over two years.  I coach global professional adults and all genders currently on-line, and locally in person.  Inclusivity is a core value of mine; I believe we are all equally different and valuable. 

Looking back on my life it has been full of high-stress events and a lot of personal change.  I am UK born living in the United States.  I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, niece, friend, neighbor and a grandmother!  I have been married three times and I work hard mentally and physically!  As an ex-senior corporate leader I worked in many different sizes of organization and teams.  All were in the spotlight and under pressure, especially when juggling it with my personal life.  I am also a work-out devotee of over 40 years. Keeping my body fit and able is just as important as having a nimble mind.

 

I think it is fair to say that I have learned a lot about life in general and about functioning in many  arenas and teams. Now, as a business owner and solopreneur, my life and years of professional experience has solidified my wisdom.  I know for sure that the various “perspectives of self” are fundamental to our ability to navigate life and function well. 


Life encompasses various and all levels of pain; most of that pain is normal, but the level of suffering we endure often stems from our own mindset; how we perceive ourselves and how we approach life's challenges.  Our minds are powerful.  Despair and burn-out is unnecessary suffering!  I want all to have the opportunity to be "your best-self"



Located in the Greater Tampa Bay Area of Florida, USA, I successfully coach clients globally, on-line

Please check out my testimonials page


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CONTACT ME

Do you have questions?  Want to hear more about how I can transform your life? Contact me today,  Use the form below to send me an email:  
I will get back with you

1 (850) 758-1218

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